2012 Goals

1. Completely eliminate dairy from my diet. J has joined my efforts, and we both hope to benefit from the fart deficit.
2. Get married. We set a date. In less than 13 weeks, we’ll be legally committed to each other.
3. Get weight down.  Since I made this resolution Tuesday, the scale has bounced back a little.  I can’t figure out if I’m dealing with residual holiday weight or if it was bloat/whatnot. Regardless, I can stand to loose a few, and I’m tracking everything I eat. It’s always an eye opener to see the calories in.
4. Take epic vacation with SK.  We’ve been on a little hiatus, but this is the year!  Where are we going?  NO CLUE!  That’s the excitement of it!
5. Travel other places. We have a two free airline tickets from our DC travel delays.  In February, we’re going to Florida for a few days. We have to use the other one before Memorial Day, and we’re thinking Boston/Cape Cod. J’s grandparents are giving us a honeymoon, so we’ll look at trips to Italia. Then my mom wants to go to Disney World for her 60th Birthday. OY! Guess we’re making up for last year.

Lessons from 2011: What matters most

People first.  Then money.  Thanks Suze Orman!

 

Lessons of 2011: Happiness is the simple pleasures of life.

You can’t find happiness.  If you keep looking for it, you’ll never find it or feel like you have enough.  Happiness is a choice.  I am happy, therefore happiness is here. Does happiness mean rainbows and puppies (I WISH!) 24/7? Absolutely not. I think it is all about appreciation. Runs in the park. Health. Good friends.  Food. Time. Things never made me happy.

That’s why I’m so overjoyed to spend my Christmas day with my family. The time we spend together, the ham we eat, the Wii we play, are the greatest gift of all.

 

Lessons from 2011: Getting through the hard times make all the difference

2011 had a ton of highs and lows. In good times, it’s easy to be happy. I’ve learned that it is how we navigate the hard times that define us, and it is through that process that we and relationships become stronger.

Lessons From 2011: All The Damn Weddings

They did it right, didn’t they?” Friends of ours got married in a 13-person, family only intimate ceremony at a winery. J and I weren’t invited, and that is more than ok. In their Facebook picture, they looked calm, relaxed and happy. A vast difference from the majority of other weddings of 2011.

When we realized the sheer number of 2011 weddings, J and I approached them with excitement and fun. Then wedding after wedding combined with “Four Weddings” episodes, the fun slowly eroded. Family stress, hectic work schedules, travel, bad food, expensive footwear, bridezillas, indifferent couples, and elaborate facades chipped away at our enthusiasm. We started the year with “WEDDINGS HOORAY! SO MUCH FUN” and ended with “Meh. Another one. Wonder what crap chicken dish will be served this time.”

I intend no disrespect to the married couples. They chose to have weddings as we chose to attend them, and 83 percent of them were great times. I do really wish I could get my money, time, and mental sanity back from one, but it was my decision to stick it out and hope for the best. At their core, weddings celebrate love and married life.

Growing up, I never had any princess dreams. When playing pretend, I opted to be a doctor, restaurant owner, pioneer woman, and Underground Railroad leader. A big wedding rarely factored into playtime. I’d always skip ahead to the happily married part with seven kids.

I don’t know if all the stress, time and money is worth one day. One day to wear a white dress that it takes three people to help me use the bathroom. One day to gather every person who matters in my life only to not really have the time to visit with them. One day to obsess about mason jars, table settings, and seating charts. One day to be judged on.

Only thing I do know is that I don’t look good in white.

(Note:  This was written before I got engaged. I stand by it.  If I do wear a white dress, I’m going to department store and walking out with that crap.)

Got Engaged

I’m excited.

That’s all.  Let’s all move on and talk about the holidays. 

Lessons from 2011: Quality friendships are rare and beautiful

2011 clarified the types of people and relationships I wanted in my life. A little gentle social housekeeping if you will.

People change. I change. There needs to be sustainable connection and understanding between friends in order for the relationship to survive. I’ve also come to realize there needs to be a deep respect and caring to make the friendship worthwhile.

I feel this year really opened my eyes to the company I keep. I think I have whittled down my inner circle to a handful of close friends, and these select few know every inner working of my life (and I theirs). I have the great masses of friends and acquaintances, and there are past, present and future levels of connection with them.

As for the failed friendships, I equally contributed. I didn’t make my opinions or feelings known, and I probably put up with more than I should have. I enabled the relationships until I reached my breaking point, which probably should have been much earlier than it happened. I do feel a certain level of sadness with a friendship loss. I’m not stupid though. I know what I deserve. I made my mistakes and intend to learn from them.

We are the company we keep. And my company is pretty damn incredible.

Obligatory Thanksgiving Post

While most people wait until November to acknowledge everything thing they are thankful for, I’d like to point out that take a minute every day to realize how good I’ve got it. Things could be better, worse, same. But I will take what I have now and run with it.

My Five-Year Plan (circa 2006)

Five Year Plan (Age 28ish)
• Continue to work as a designer for newspaper in major U.S. city. If editorship calls, I will answer it. If newspapers become obsolete or I ultimately decide that I’m done with journalism, go back to school to become one of the following: psychologist, teacher, college counselor, etc.
• Buy property or be in the position to buy property within the year. Because I’m told that is what adults do. They buy property.
• Get book published or revel in successfully having my book published. Would be cool to do a book tour, go on Oprah, sell the rights for a movie, swim in a giant pool of money.

I fail at life. I’m not a college-counseling homeowner with a book deal. I never went on Oprah. I have no idea when/if we’ll buy property. I did go back to school for etc.

How is my ten-year plan working out? It says I can’t get married before 30, but the friendI made the pact with got married in September. Null and void, I guess. Due to my career field and the economy, I don’t have the ammo to boost my retirement plans, which is ok because I’ll probably never retire.  I am not, in fact, an obese cat lady, but I find the years have softened my feelings towards felines. Not enough to own one.

Why I unfriended 260+ Facebook Friends

On Sunday morning, I finally hit my Facebook limit Sunday morning. Between the status announcing the three-week birthday of an acquaintance’s baby, an almost-family member’s rants against an upcoming family party, my own unfriending at the hand of my bf’s ex (we were FB friends long before I dated J), and the many pictures of a girl’s chubby finger with engagement ring shoved on it, I decided no more. If I can see all about their lives, they can see mine. I don’t want them to see it  and I am sick of seeing them in digital form.

I thought to the future. Do I really need most of these people to know when I get engaged and offer their insincere congrats? Do I really need to let these people see me as I age? Do I want these people to creep on my life?

I reached my most sobering thought: I don’t give two craps about the majority of these folks.

First, I unfriended all these kids/now adults from journalism camps I attended and later worked. We shared one summer month together, and then we went about our separate lives. I spared the few have become friends or more than just acquaintances. As for the rest, do they need to know where I am now? Nope.  Do they care? Probably not. Do I care? Obviously not if I just deleted them. Then I moved onto tangential people. People who at one point I knew, but now I don’t really care or think about. This included classmates from high school, grammar school, and college. I only wish I could tastefully get rid of distance family members…

It got easier with every unfriend,  and my selection criteria clarified. The more people I cut, the more I had my Facebook whittled down to people I honestly do care about and people I consider train wrecks, who get to stay (at least for now) for entertainment value. I feel lighter, less weighed down by people and their potentially prying eyes. I also feel a tad more in control of my online footprint, and I know I will be more discerning for future friend requests.

When I first got invited to Facebook, I remember sitting in the Daily office with my friend/editor. We raced each other to see how many friends we could each “friend” in an hour. It was fun, youthful, innocent. I used to think the more friends I have, the better.  One could never have too many friends.  Never know when you’ll need people, right?

But that’s it. I doubt I’ll need the people I unfriended. I would immediately forget the name of each person I deleted.  How could I need people I have to remind myself to remember?

Various People I unfriend (ripped off from my live tweeting of the #facebookdefriend2011)

• Distance friends of my siblings
• Some siblings of my friends
• Former dorm neighbors, most of whom I’ve never talked to
• People with annoying photo overshares, ie engagement, pregnancy, baby, life albums.
• Grade school and high school classmates. Maybe I’ll be more enthusiastic about reunions now!

Bring on the life mystery! I started at 695 and ended with 434.