Black Wednesday

I braved the cold and joined one of my best friends, her fiance, friends and sister, etc. on the annual bar crawl down Western Avenue on the southside of Chicago.

I’m going to go ahead and deny anything others may claim that I did.  But for sake of blogging, one of the following is true:

1. I drank too much, and I spent the night passed on out my friend’s mom’s front lawn with a bottle of jack and half a pizza.
2. I cussed out a door man when he declared me too drunk to enter.  I may have told him he looks like Hulk Hogan and then threatened to beat him with a chair.
3. I made out with a 22-year-old, then I told him he was a kindergartener and walked out of the bar.
4. I drunk-dialed my mother.  Apologized.  And then I drunk-dialed her again.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

I am living in the moment but thinking ahead..

Chicago. DC. NYC.

My short list of places I am considering once I get my degree.

Resolutions

Yesterday I noticed a scrap of paper on my bulletin board.  It listed my resolutions for 2009.  I’d written it hastily on scrap paper from my old job.  I’m a list person, but when it comes to New Year’s resolutions, I’m usually like everyone else: gung-ho at first and then I forget about it.

Apparently not this year!

1. Apply and get into graduate school or find a new job by August. (DONE.)
2. Find and keep a steady boyfriend worthy of my time and energy. (The year isn’t over, and I’ve put myself out there more.  Besides, anyone could have a bf if they wanted. I’m just a tad picky.)
3. Be more confident in myself. (I worked at this, and I will continue to work at this. For the most part, DONE.)
4. Keep working out, tone up,  and slim down.  Be healthy. (DONE. And considering I’ve thrown out my fat clothes, I have to stay at this size).
5. Keep credit card paid off, save money and start roth IRA. (Yes, yes and no, and no.  I’m a stickler for paying off my CC.  I saved money, and I’ve been living off of it.  And my accountant told me not to start an Roth IRA right now with the economy in the shitter).
6. Stay true to myself. (DONE.  I have an opinion or two, and I stand behind them).
7. Make an effort to look put together at all times in public. (90 percent done. We all have gym clothes days, but with all my frump clothes in the trash, I have no excuse not make an effort.  Look good, feel good, attract attention and marriage proposals from homeless guys.)
8. Live in the moment and free of attachments. (I’m getting there.)

Pretty good, huh?

Social rebirth

I admit it: I’ve been lazy about my social life.  Really lazy.  I’ve been “eh” on proactively making plans, using school or work as excuses to lounge around at home instead of going out more.  Well no more!

I refuse to be boring this winter or ever.  I’ve got some long term things on my radar, but I need to work on now.

 

Writing 11/13

I wake up every day with the intention of writing, but 99 percent of the time I don’t pick up a pen to do more than write down what I need from the grocery store.

Today I’ve made a committment to myself to write for at least 30 minutes a day.  I also checked out three books with writing prompts from the library.  Natalie Goldberg published a recent book called Old Friend from Far Away, and it is  full of fantastic ideas to get the pen moving.  I’ve read (and loved) two of her previous writing books, and I am very excited about this one.

I wrote for 40 minutes today.  My sister says that most of what you write will be crap, but in the crap, there are good ideas.

Here is something I wrote for the prompt “write about something red”.

My first-grade teacher ordered us to close our eyes.  She slowly guided us through a meditation on what purgatory was like.  “Look deep into your heart,” she said and continued to talk, but I tuned her out.  I saw it.  I saw my purgatory.  Suddenly I was there.  A  red heart chamber pulsing with every beat.  Blood gushed around the six-year-old me.  I’d been to the Museum of Science and Industry’s giant model of the human heart.  I knew what was deep in my heart.  Blood.  Lots of blood.  And that’s where I was going to wait for 100 years before I’d get the chance to go to heaven.

I feel like this Catholic upbringing is going to be a memory gold mine.

Appreciate what I have, not focus on what I don’t

When life doesn’t live up to expectations, I focus on the good things.  So let’s focus on how lucky I am at the moment:

• Watching “Mamma Mia” with a sleeping dog at my feet.
• Al’s amazing pasta sauce (and the aftermath).
• Cardio lawn work.
• Three free shirts, which mom and Al decided would look better on me than them.
• Seeing Jackie at UChicago and hanging out.
• Napping on the couch.
• Good friends and their support.
• My surprising calm and maturity (I guess).
• Three glasses of sangria.
• Talking with Al about “The Chair Game,” our childhood thrill shenanigans.
• My straight A’s in grade school (so far).

So life is good.

Update

• You know the amazing thing about dishwashers?  They wash dishes! I used to think I lived in the wrong decade, but oh no!  I could not, I will not ever live without a dishwasher.
• Going back to Chicago for the week.  I’m claiming family reasons as the official party line.
• Registered to Hustle Up the Hancock Building February.
• Now watching a documentary on Hollywood Musicals before I go to sleep.

I know what I’m getting for Christmas…

This!

Texts from last night

“I fuckin’ hate immature people.”

Let’s talk about the irony of my sister texting that to me at 5 am.

Just want to be understood

It took me the four-hour car ride back to the STL to figure out why I felt so awesome after my few days at home.  And I finally got it.  I felt 100 percent understood.  Like I was with people who I knew got me, and I got them.  Sure time has passes, life changes, etc.  But it was so utterly comforting to not have to explain myself.

Sometimes I feel like a minority here.  Like I have to explain why I don’t want to buy a house right now, why I’m in no rush to get married, why I loved journalism, why I have certain hangups in life. It wasn’t like that this weekend.  I didn’t have to explain anything because most of them were in the same boat.  And it felt wonderful.

Meanwhile, I’m back in the STL, and life is good.  I need to remember to be thankful for what I have.